Kimberly's Story: Where Grief Meets Joy

by Kimberly Quintela

When I was seven years old, my family started studying with the Jehovah's Witnesses. We were at the Kingdom Hall three days a week, and we held a Bible Study at our home on Saturday mornings.

As many teenagers do, I broke free from religion when I was 15—and discovered alcohol. When you're running and gunning with your girlfriends, you don't want to know what God thinks about what you're doing. I stepped away from any real sort of faith for almost 15 years.

I met my first husband when I was 17. I watched him graduate from high schooland college and we got married just before he graduated law school. We were on the fast track and it seemed like nothing could get in our way.

When I was 29 and was pregnant with our first baby, I decided it was time to look back into church. It was the "appropriate" thing to do if we were starting a family. We started attending Southeast in 1992. 

Divorce: A Lesson on Forgiveness

I remember hearing Bob Russell remark in one of his sermons, "Don't send a starving man into a food court.” That's exactly what I did. My husband had an affair with his secretary and my world crumbled. He moved out, leaving me with a 3- and 5-year-old.

When you hit your knees, the direction you eventually look is up. It's a shame that it takes something like a broken heart to get you finally heading in the right direction. I started attending Southeast regularly, got baptized, got into a Bible Study and started volunteering in the children's ministry.

My divorce took two years. initially there was a lot of anger—even thoughts as ugly as wishing something would happen to my husband so I could take the insurance money and take care of my kids.

Then, his world crumbled. In desperation, he took 30 heart pills and stopped his heart, but by the grace of God he survived. It was so hard to believe that I had actually wished him dead at times during my anger.

He spiraled. He got into trouble, lost his law degree, and spent two years in prison.

During that time, he had to slow down, and he found God. I was at his baptism shortly after he was released. God taught me forgiveness during this period in my life. My first husband and I are the best of friends now. He even attended my wedding to my current husband, Mark.

Blended Family: A Lesson on Patience

Mark and I married in 2004. We were a blended family with four children. When we met, our kids were ages 5, 6, 7, and 8. Blending is a lot of work. Fortunately, Mark and I were a united front, which forced the kids to unite (against us), so the blending went “fairly” smoothly. I learned patience during this period of my life.

In 2008 we had a surprise pregnancy. Our youngest was 14 years old at this time. Our new son was born 7 weeks premature and was diagnosed with Down Syndrome after the delivery.

I was devastated. How would my marriage survive this trauma? I felt as if I could not get a deep breath of air. Our son was in the hospital NICU for a month. Mark and I were traveling back and forth to the hospital every day, and we grew so very close during this time.

I am crazy about all my kids, but the love and protection I felt for this baby was almost fierce. God help anyone whoever messes with this child! The other kids have watched their little brother work so hard for every accomplishment that others take for granted. They are all better people because he came into our lives. They are all so wonderful with individuals who have challenges. 

Cancer: A Lesson on Relationships

In December 2012, I was diagnosed with two different cancers in my right breast. The next year and a half was filled with surgeries (double mastectomy and reconstructions) and chemotherapy.

Chemo threw me into the fetal position for three months. I have never felt God more close to me than during that time. His presence was continuous— and it was wonderful. I do not miss the chemo, but I do miss the connection that I had to Him. He was like a blanket protecting me through it.

It was at this time in my life that I was forced to slow down. I finally started to see what was truly important in life: relationships. People I had not seen in years were showing up to visit. Meals were continually flowing into our home.

For months all of the people in our little world lavished love upon my family. I’ve learned to lavish love on others whenever I have the opportunity because of that experience.

Fostering: A Lesson on Gratitude

In October of 2016, Southeast showed a video clip about Orphan Care Alliance. Mark and I signed up to be mentors and took the training. Around Thanksgiving 2016, we were matched with Cynthia. Cynthia was 21 years old and aged out of Foster Care.

Shortly after meeting Cynthia we became aware that she had spent the night in the UofL Library, so we asked her to come stay with us. She’s been with us ever since. She has a new job and is going to college. She has found an apartment and will be moving out on her own. Once again, our kids have witnessed how complicated life can be for others.

Cynthia is amazing and we are so grateful to have her as part of our family.

I’ve had people feel sorry for me because of all the “action” I’ve seen in my life, but the times where I’ve been broken have been the times I have been closest to God and learned the most. Those experiences have given me the opportunities to connect with people I could have never found commonality with previously. Some of my greatest memories have come from being in the valley. I am so grateful to God for this life he has given me.